Do you ever think about how sad Fathers Day was for Darth Vader? Never knew his kid his whole life then ends up fighting him in an epic battle. But guys Darth Vader is a dad too!!!! Probably wanted to hang his kids artwork on the spaceship and yell at him to go his room. Chambers? Whatever a bedroom in space would be called.
That’s the thought that came to my mind when thinking of a title for this post. “Luke, I am your father.” One of the most epic 180 degrees turns in the cinematic history. Even more epic than the twists and turns of National Treasure.
But this isn’t about how Vader could have been a better father. I’m sure all dads out there can learn from his mistakes.
No ladies and gents. This is the follow up to the emotional tear jerker that was Mother’s Day. I put all my blood, sweat and tears into that video and post (so go watch it if you didn’t already). I had my mom crying for like two days. I for sure moved into first place for favorite child that weekend. And then moved back to second place like that Monday for being a pain in the butt.
So now…I would like you all to meet the other half of the superhero team that is my mom and dad.
The equivalent to Superman for me. I am 100% a daddy’s girl. I love my dad so much. We’re like a Gandalf and Frodo duo. Which actually happened. We actually dressed up like that. To the movies.
When I think of my father, the first thing that always hits me is love. Like a wall of bricks. There’s so many emotions and memories that come to mind that the only way my mind can blurt it all out is “love.”
Such a simple word with so much force behind it.
Even though I say I love pizza and The Office five times a day, changing the context of the word ever so slightly brings on this whole new feeling of emotion.
My dad is my rock. And I’m blessed enough to even say that today. I’m literally starting to cry while writing this cause I’m trying to write all these feelings down but it’s turing into a mess. And now I’m a mess. So I’ll try to get on to what you have meant to me as a father these past twenty years. Because you truly mean so much.
You are patient, you are kind. You do not envy, you do not boast, you are not proud. You do not dishonor others, you are not self-seeking. You are not easily angered, you keep no records of wrong. You do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. You always protect, always trust, always hope, always preserve.
That’s cause it’s the definition of what love is according to the Bible. It’s funny I was writing this and trying to organize who you are into something I could explain. I kept calling you love but could never elaborate on it. Thank goodness the Bible knew exactly what I needed to say. Because Dad, you are the definition of love itself.
You are patient. So patient with everyone around you. So understanding of their lives. You just walk with this grace about you that always seems at peace with your life. The whole family could be running late and you’ll be sitting at the kitchen table or standing by the door with a smile on your face as I run down the stairs saying sorry as I put on a last brush of mascara. But you never say anything. Just smile as we finally get into the car and fail at attempting to be on time for another Sunday mass.
You are kind. The most kind-hearted person I know. You seriously know everyone. We could be walking in Rome and you’ll find someone from Buffalo. Which you actually did. People are so happy to see you. You take interest in their life and let them know that you’re there. Always looking for ways to be that light for others. Just genuinely being kind to everyone.
You do not envy, you do not boast, you are not proud. You are the most humble man that I ever ever met in my life. Gosh I’m crying again. Get it together hope. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you brag about yourself to other people or even brag about your children to other people. You never make yourself to be better than others. You never declare that you’re the best at anything. But instead constantly look for ways to learn more and grow. As you always tell me, even the experts are still learning everyday. Even though you demolish in tennis and every other human sport on this planet…You will never shove that in someone’s face. Never throw a fit or slam your racket on the ground when the score is not in your favor. You never exclaim the voice of jealously. Never say you wish you had this and that or envy another’s life. I can’t emphasize this part of love enough because I believe this is the hardest part. You never want the spot light to be shown on you and whenever compliments come flooding your way, you build a damn and direct them down another river. You will never boast how awesome you are even if the whole room is thinking it. You are the man who taught me to do your best and the right thing even if no one is looking. Even if no one cares or congratulates you or awards you with trophies. You won’t even boast about your pain and suffering to others. But instead will choose to suffer alone instead of complaining of how much pain you are in to others. This has spoken volumes to how strong of a Father you are.
You do not dishonor others, you are not self-seeking. Your family and friends always come before you. You don’t live your life for yourself but instead as a servant of God. You work through God for others. Even by being at all my sporting events, teaching to those who question, taking me skiing, practicing my swing with me, cooking with me, helping me with homework, listening to my dramatic teenage rants. Always on the look out for someone in need.
You are not easily angered, you keep no records of wrong. I can seriously count the number of times that I have made you seriously “mad” on one hand. ONE HAND. Out of twenty years I can only recall a handful of times I was being a real pain in the butt to make you angry. You are the definition of slow to anger. No matter how many times I messed up, you were still there. You’d rarely yell but instead calmly talk out the situation and what could of been done differently. Scoreboard is not even in your vocabulary when it comes to who you love.
You do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. My room is right next to the bathroom so I hear everything through the walls. Including your weekly podcasts and gospel music singing. But you are just rejoicing in the truth that is God. Open to constant new discussion and learning about your faith. Blasting the music everywhere you go singing so loud with so much joy in your heart. You proclaim the truth. I come to you with all my questions and you really do rejoice in it. Even when explaining a concept to me, you’ll stop and smile mid-explanation to realize how amazing what your explaining to me really is. You follow God with your whole heart, mind and soul. You don’t pick and choose the parts that you like but instead follow His word to its whole.
You always protect, always trust, always hope, always preserve. You are my rock. My protector from the stupidity that is the world. When everything is fuzzy you clear the way. You give me room to grow into my own. You hope for the best in every situation and person. You trust in the Lord. You are my shelter from the storm. You never talk badly of anyone. Never brag about your life to others. But instead spends his life serving them.
I couldn’t think of a better father to nerd over Lord of the Rings with. To plan trips to distant lands and want to experience the culture in its entirety. A better father to help lead to my success as the high school pickle ball champion (I’m still working on the boasting thing myself). A better father to cook with as I then pick 75% of the ingredients off my dish. A better father to stay up till midnight having long discussions about everything. A better father to run to the door when you came home from work as you swooped me into your arms with a big bear hug. (*crying again). A better father to show me what the true meaning of what being a father is. Of what love is.
I wrote this whole post and I still feel like I haven’t completely explained how much you mean to me. So I have to sum it up like I did in the beginning.
You are love to me.
A love that can also whoop your butt in a game of knock out and give a mean haircut.
Happy Father’s Day.
Thanks for being the greatest father to me. And for loving Cate unconditionally.
You taught me what love is. Hope this was another tear jerker. I tried my best to move into favorite child spot again.
Written with love,